2020 Momentum
Welcome to the third day of 2021. Let’s take a break to rewind the moments in 2020. What had happened during 366 days of 2020?
On the first of January 2020, we celebrated New Year and started writing down a bucket of lists “resolution in 2020”. It is a common agenda to greet a brand new day at the beginning of a year. Everything was set clearly and ambitiously. A new hope, a new enthusiasm. I felt like a newborn baby who needs to improve and leave the bad habits I did in 2019. I started to apply for some jobs to find a new better opportunity for myself.
In February 2020, it was a normal situation but a little bit of worried since the issue of the Coronavirus spread widely outside China. Activities were normally completed, nothing was too serious. I still put effort to get a new job opportunity.
In March 2020, the shocking news of Coronavirus had infected 2 Indonesian people created anxiety to the people, specifically the residents of Jakarta, Bogor, Depok, Tangerang, Bekasi. Those areas are connected to one mass transportation (Commuter Line) that possibly creating a new cluster. Unfortunately, within a month, the virus had spread all over cities in Indonesia. The large-scale social restriction was held by a local government for almost 2–3 months. It is decided as the Indonesia president could not assign for the lockdown cause it will give a huge impact on the economy since Indonesia is a developing country. So, after the restriction, there are only a few people can be seen doing activities outside, and most of them were staying at home. Most companies applied for a “work from home” system to their employees to prevent the spread of infections. It also happens to me, where I mostly stayed at home and do my “work” from home.
Days by days I spent time at home, where I could go outside only for something urgent. I must admit, it was kind of a new different life. People needed to adjust their lifestyle and habits because of Covid-19. More than that, many employees got fired because the companies could not pay for their salaries. Some companies closed their operations, and some started to develop their online business. Everything moves to the online such as online meetings, online interviews, online seminars, online shopping, and many more. People’s life nowadays is getting stuck on gadgets and the internet.
How did it impact my personal life? Well, what I felt the most was being far away from my real connection. I lost my real friends, social activities, and a lot of activities I did during a normal situation. The more I stayed at home, the more I felt anxiety. I became twice overthinking which it was annoyed me. I got stuck on social media such as Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and others. I wasted most of my time on a gadget and social media cause I had nothing to do.
Was 2020 a bad warming up to adjust to a different life? I believe that something happens for good and bad sides. So, this new different life also has some positive things for me that I could have much spare time I was dreaming of in 2019. Well, I could say that during my work office hours normally, I rarely had time for my self. On weekend, I mostly got extra working hours which I did not enjoy. Nevertheless however, I was so lucky for everything I had during this difficult situation. I am so grateful to always have food at home, complete family, health, and basic life things I should not be worried about.
Was I happy at all? Definitely no. I had tried my best to be happy with everything I had even though something missing. I could not even describe how it feels. I was just too comfortable in my comfort zone, so it made me forget my own goals. I forgot what I want to achieve. I was and still an imbalance. I am frail. I also got stuck in my quarter-life crisis. That was tough for me. I took a long time to think about what matters. I cried a lot. I could not sleep well. I was frustrated about life. I dilemma of two biggest points in my life. Until in the end, I made a big decision full of risks in my life.
I thought 2017 was my worst year of having a lot of problems. I struggled a lot to get out of the problems I had. But unpredictably, 2020 also became a tough year for me. I learned how to be sincere to let go of something that I had. I learned how to move on from my comfort zone, I learned how to be responsible for the decision I made, I learned how to give boundless affection to everyone I love before I lose, I learned how to differentiate who is honest and hypocrite, I learned how to forgive and forget what hurts me, and I learned how to rise from the adversity.
In the end, life is a learning journey until the end of life. What does not kill you, makes you stronger. The problems in life are about to shape you into a stronger and better person. As long as if you did not have a support system, just believe that God is the most powerful support system that listens to your sob and sacrifice. The hardest thing but a must to do is to think positively in whatever circumstances you meet.
Hello 2021, please be a great year! Let me start everything from zero. I must believe this year will be much better than before.
Start again.
03/01/2021
